Somnum

[Ashken]

WARNING!!!
The fallowing post in this thread are sides stories. They are an exploration of Aito's insecurities and fears, some small, others big. I'll try to label them as they come along, but expect subjects of dysmorphia, isolation, pain. 

Not to sound like a broken record, if you ever need to speak to someone do. Do not suffer alone. 
 WARNING!!!

[Ashken]

WARNING:
EP#1:

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SPOILER: Click to show

"My name is Aito Korolenko. I've been homeschooled till recently, I'm looking forward to making friends..." his hands shook, his heart raced. This was a first for him, others had probably done this dozens of times. The paper on his hand crumpled, the few sentences on it hidden under the creases of his white-knuckle hold. His mouth felt dry, he actively tried to keep his teeth from rattling.

"My name is Aiko..." He closed his eyes tight berating himself, all he needed to say where a few words, just a handful of letters strung together. He took a deep breath, trying to feel the air fill his lungs, trace it as it moved through his body and his chest expanded and retracted. He opened his eyes, before him a ragged boy looked back, his blue eyes heavy with bags, his brown hair a matted mess, his skin ill, "My name is Aito" the boy before him repeated lazily, "I've been homeschooled" the image of ten, twenty, thirty students came to mind, all staring, sixty eyeballs right at him... drilling into him, studying him, none more judgmental that the blues of the boy before him.

"You are a disappointment," the voice echoed in the room, he looked down closing eyes again, taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself, "You heard me..." looking back up he could see the anger on the boy with blue eyes, "Korolenko, really?" the one before him inspected him. His eyes stern he could feel them narrowing on every imperfection, "Have you seen yourself" the ragged teen spoke, his voice full of anger. 

A rasp on the door causes him to turn, he barely kept his balance. Looking toward the nearby door he knit his brow, "Yes?" he answered quietly, his voice a quiver. The voice on the other side declared that they would come in. Aito flinched at the light beaming through the crack, "Time to hit the hay" the man leaning through the door said in crisp English. The man's eyes narrowed on him, "You're looking a little ragged their kid, feeling, okay?" he asked concern on his voice.

"Yes" Aito responded in his less practiced English, "Dad." his father studied him, the boy swallowed hard trying to put a strong facade, he tried to study his father back, but it was hard to read him, but he could tell his father was concerned. 

"You know, we can delay your school" his father offered, "You just got out of the hospital," he added, a warm smile adorning his face. Aito tried to hide his emotions from his father, but unlike his father he wore his on his sleeve, "Or not," his father continued, seeing how his words put the boy in distress "Just know you have options" he didn't want to force the boy, he could tell he was going through a lot, the whole family was, for a moment there they had lost him and they were all still coping in their own way. 

"Get some rest" he closed the door, leaving the boy alone. His mind sinking into guilt, he never felt like his family walked this carefully around him before, they all kept a strong face before him for years. There are nights like these ones where he wondered if still being alive was worth it. If maybe he could be less of a disappointment. Turning around he faced the mirror, once again there where those blue eyes, much like those of his father, his reflection looked at him in disgust. "They all pity you..."

Letting go the piece of paper he crashed onto the bed, trying to let go the anger, the frustration, focusing on the good, he was alive, he had a second chance.....